Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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