i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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