just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
