I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize