Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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