Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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