First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
