We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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