is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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