We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
