I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
