Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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