Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
