Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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