dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
