Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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