Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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