hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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