After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
