We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
