My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
