i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
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