yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
