She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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