I've blown a few things in my day
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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