i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
