Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
