Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize