WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Bring me that man meat
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
