your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
