So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
