i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
