I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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