i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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