She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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