I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
