I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
