Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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