I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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