Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
