now i know why i became what i already was.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
