I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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