Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
