When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
