so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
