We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
