Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
