My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
