I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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