It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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