I wish i was in the wii world.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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