this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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