You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
