I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
