we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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