the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We left an ass print on the piano.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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