did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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