Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize