Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
