did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
two words: eviction party
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
