She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
