she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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