we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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