these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
