his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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