A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
