He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
