I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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