You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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