It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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