How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
