My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
