I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
