he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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