am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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