I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
